Through Her Eyes: Mercy
For Mercy, freezing her eggs was just a way of extending her fertility’s lifetime. Originally from Nairobi, Kenya, Mercy is the one in her family who chose the less traditional path of career, travel, and working in finance before starting a family. She loves where she is in her life and has no regrets. She finds her career in financing exciting and challenging, and while she knows that her biological clock is ticking, she isn’t ready to start a family right now.
Mercy approached researching egg freezing with the same diligence that she brings to her job. She researched not just specific fertility clinics, but also the specific doctors (reproductive endocrinologists) and their histories, reputations, and successes. All her research eventually brought her to Trellis.
While she was impressed with the doctors, she also had other considerations. “I have an aversion to hospitals.” For something so personal, clinics felt so — clinical. The studio space was absolutely a plus for her,
“For such an involved process, it felt very doable because the Trellis environment is very zen.”
Still, her aversion to hospitals and all things medical was something she had to face when it came time to freeze her eggs. The daily injections were a looming fear that she feared she couldn’t handle. In preparation, she worked with the Trellis nurse, practiced the injections on a mold, and then went home and put herself to the test. “Day one I was like ‘Oh my god’. Day one was really really tough… Day 3 was just like a breeze.”
Throughout the process, Mercy relied on her support systems including the one Trellis provided.
“They assigned a fertility coordinator, to call and talk to me. Having that support system made a difference…I felt like everyone was super helpful from figuring out the financing, nutrition, exercise, and if I had the right lifestyle that’s going to encourage positive results.”
Trellis: What is your favorite “self-care” routine?
Mercy: Meditation. I travel a lot. And I’ll do a lot of solo travel. I’ll go someplace and just enjoy nature and do nothing. Beacon, NY. Places like Nantucket. I have a meditation app & a gratitude journal.
Trellis: What’s a day in the life like for you?
Mercy: Read the news, come to the office, if I have an active investment I’ll meet with the company and the lawyers. Right now I just concluded a mentorship with Girls Who Code (an organization who works to close the gender gap in technology). After work, I’ll be with my significant other, my friends, or just go home and make a nice meal.
Trellis: How do you spend your free time?
Mercy: What’s ‘free time?’ I’m getting better at making time for myself. I enjoy reading fiction. Lately I’ve been reading a lot of African literature that’s coming out. Behold the Dreamers, Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi, it’s more fantasy than fiction.
Trellis: Why was it important to you to freeze your eggs?
Mercy: I was at a point in my life where I felt I needed to explore some more. Fertility has a lifetime. I wanted to have the options to still have kids.
Trellis: What’s your own little nugget of advice for women interested in pursuing egg freezing?
Mercy: In my head, I’ve always been very young. Unfortunately the age you “feel”, isn’t what your body actually is. Even if you’re living your best life, know your status. Ask for more tests.
Trellis: What’s the best advice you’ve received?
Mercy: It was from one of my friends at Friendsgiving four years ago. She had done the fertility blood test and found her AMH numbers were low. Her regret was not freezing her eggs earlier and she just told me “the sooner the better”. Egg freezing can be for any woman, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing. It’s creating options for yourself.
As a modern woman, “biological clock” unfortunately does exist and as of now, there is no way of extending that clock. It’s important to know that the clock exists and there’s something you can do about it.
Trellis: Any life lessons you took from the egg freezing process?
Mercy: The whole process was very emotional. I had to do a lot of soul searching. That first day of mixing that medicine I started crying. After they finished and I had the retrieval it was a very cathartic experience. Do soul searching and figure out what you really want out of life. I’m very lucky that I have friends who have gone through this process. Egg freezing is still somewhat considered taboo. The more of us that do this and talk about it, more people will know.